And all that Jazz!

You know how people have these little habits that get you down.

Like Bernie.

Bernie liked to chew gum.

No, not chew.

Pop!

So I came home this one day and I am really irritated, looking for a little bit of sympathy..

and there's Bernie lying on the couch, drinking a beer

and chewing.

No, not chewing,

Popping!

So, I said to him,

I said, "Bernie, you pop that gum one more time..."

And he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...

Into his head.

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would have done the same!

I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago

and he told me he was single

and we hit it off right away.

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner.

And then I found out:

"Single" he told me.

Single, my ass.

Not only was he married, oh no, he had six wives.

One of those Mormons, you know.

So that night when he came home from work,

I fixed him his drink, as usual...

You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.

He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower in its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder, but not a crime!

Now, I'm standing in the kitchen

carving up the chicken for dinner,

minding my own business.

In storms my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage.

"You've been screwing the milkman!" he says.

He was crazy

and he kept on screaming,

"You've been screwing the milkman!"

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife ten times

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok,

hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg

lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan

vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja

Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam

a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...

Yeah, but did you do it?

Uh Uh, not guilty!

My sister Veronica and I had this double act,

and my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us.

Now, for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.

one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops,

one right after the other.

So this one night before the show we're down at the Hotel Cicero,

the three of us, boozing, having a few laughs and we ran out of ice.

So I go out to get some.

I come back, open the door,

and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen -- the spread eagle!

Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead.

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming all along

I didn't do it

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter.

But he was always trying to find himself.

He'd go out every night looking for himself

and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving.

I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive

and I saw him dead.

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming all along

'Cause if they used us, and they abused us

How could you tell us That we were wrong?

~Cell Block Tango, I love you.